The Twisted Gypsy

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So long Ft. Lauderdale. You have been good to me for the past 9 weeks. Honestly, I have had the best time with you that I have had ever.

There has been wild creativity, putting my head down and working like a dog and general getting it together time. Now I feel like it is onward and upward….and of course, time for cold weather.


Tomorrow I head to Chi-town. The land of cold, snow, holidays and a Thanksgiving family jamboree!
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Tonight, Harriet had a little going away party for me. It was so nice. (Notice the awesome “i have been up night after night working on this insane grant, circles under my eyes. I did NOT use the Erase Paste tonight. Mistake.)

When leaving, in the car I had this crazy cheesecake that was left over. Upon arriving at a corner filled with these hippy, homeless people that were begging for money, I had no cash, so I offered them the cheesecake (it was damn good cheesecake.) They took it and proceeded to destroy it in the time it took me to simply wait for the green light. Note to oneself: If you want to help the homeless population, keep cheesecake in your car. It really is that easy.
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I feel like I should make a public apology to the giant iguanas of the world. Unfortunately, due to my post last week, it has been brought to my attention that there are now people who are ‘afraid’ to come to Florida because of the big, bad, green iguanas. Oops! Sorry.
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T-minus 24 hours and counting= my awesome family
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T- minus 3 days and counting to the cold/family/turkey day lovin!
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I saw a high school show tonight that did not make me want to choke myself called “Up the Down staircase.” Who knew?
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Have you ever used Free 411? Have you ever been in the car while I have used Free 411? Have you ever been in the car while I use Free 411 and then totally loose my patience after saying “Tar-get oooooonnn Add-i-son” fourteen times. All of that to save a quarter?!?! So then, I end up hanging up and just dialing 411 and paying the damn 25 cents. (Which is not big deal if you don’t call 411 much…but…uhh…I do.) So anyway, Google, once again has saved the day. They now have a free 411 line that takes you straight to the info you want. I love google. I wish they would marry Macintosh and get it over with.
Put this number in your phone:
1-800-466-4411

http://www.google.com/goog411/
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Why do dressing room clerks take the merchandise OUT of your hand to put it up on the rack to count your items. Wait. I understand why they put them on the rack, it is just the taking it out of your hands part that makes me crazy. I CAN HANG THEM UP THERE MYSELF! I can do it. I can untangle the hangers and hang them on the rack and THEN you can count them. You do not have to take them OUT of my arms, whack me in the face with the hanger and then proceed to count them TWICE making me feel like a shoplifter. It is just not necessary. Really. Enough.
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Count down to the cold: T-minus 4 days and counting.
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Jamie introduced me to a little miracle in a jar and I feel it my duty to share this with the world. I would like to tell you about a product called “Erase Paste.” No, it won’t make your messed up life perfect, but it WILL take away the horrible black circles underneath your eyes. No joke. It works. It is a miracle. I should post a before and after picture here to prove it to you, but instead I am just telling you to go out and buy it. You will not be sorry. Yeah, yeah, it is $26 for a very small tub of this magical stuff, but it lasts forever. I have had mine for 6 weeks and I have barely used a fourth of it. Seriously, if you have something you need to cover up, Erase Paste is your product. Go! Now!

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Today I am at Target, shopping for a greeting card, minding my own business when all of a sudden I hear this man laughing hysterically. He is not just chuckling, he is laughing from the very depths of his belly. He is on the next isle over. I decide I must know what is causing this reaction, so of course I round the corner. There he stands. He is about 6 feet tall, 350 pounds, bald head and big red face. He has stopped laughing now. I begin to browse the cards in front of me picking one up, not being amused at all, putting it back. He too is browsing. He picks up another card. He opens it. He takes a deep breath and then “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” This man is laughing so hard I can barely hear myself think. “Could it be?” I think. Just as I doubt what is happening here, he puts the card that is in his hand back on the shelf and grabs another one, reads it and “HAHAHAHAHAHA!” The laugh is penetrating and now I know it is true- this man loves greeting cards. They make him happy. He looks at me, noticing me looking at him. I try to look away in time, but am too late. We catch eyes. Still smiling he says “I do this while my wife shops.” Wow. I wonder how he reacts to the Sunday comics?
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I removed my earring that was up in the cartilage. It seemed like it was time. I am 30 now, after all.
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This week, I did something I have never done before. I ran nine miles in a row. Nine. It took me an hour and 45 minutes, but I did it. I wish I had the guts to train for a marathon, but I am afraid it will destroy my body. Hmm…
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Whenever I see Eric Flemons (Flembone), he insists on sharing YouTube videos with me. He will not take no for an answer. Most of them are really funny, sometimes long and pretty obscure. This one is called The Great Office War. Check it:

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You have probably heard about this Pastor and his challenge to the fellow married members of his church to have sex every day for 7 days. It is creating this interesting debate. Anyway, the comments at the bottom of this article entertain me to no end.

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=news/bizarre&id=6502213
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I cooked all week long. Hell froze over.
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This seems like a no brainer, but the article is interesting anyway. It is a study about unhappy people and their TV watching ways…hmm.

http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/unhappy-people-watch-tv-happy-people-readsocialize-17794.html
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I deleted my MySpace account. I hate MySpace. So long!
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Today, I turned down a free trip on a very nice cruise line in a swanky cabin. Have I lost my mind? No. I miss my family! To Chicago for Turkey Day! Yiiipppppeee!
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Somehow, I feel like this is my last week of summer. Yes, yes, I realize that that seems absurd since it is the middle of November and snowing up north. However, the truth of it is that I spent half of May in Ohio (chilly, sweatshirt wearing weather), the other half in Kansas (getting warmer but still chilly at night), all of June in Florida (scorch the shirt off of your body hot, so don’t spend any more time outside than it takes you to get to your car or into an air conditioned building), part of July in Florida (see June’s description) the other half in Sweden (see Ohio description), then half of August in Russia (weird, hot, dirty, not beachy) half in Sweden, September all over Europe and finally here in Florida since then. The past months here have been sort of glorious. They are the reason that people move to this crazy state. Today, it was 69 degrees almost all day. Who could ask for anything more? Well, I could. I want snow!
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This may be the first time in my life that I have gone for 4 days and not seen ONE PERSON that I know. It was sort of by choice. I am learning lessons that most people learned a long time ago, I guess- to be alone and to like it. And now I do. And so on to something else….
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Picture this. I walk out of the apartment, minding my own business, going to go for a short swim. I open up the back door, throw a towel over my shoulder and turn around to close the door behind me. That’s when I hear it. Something is there. Something is in the bushes, very, very close to where I am standing…and it is not one of the thousands of little lizards that scurry around on a daily basis that look like this:

I freeze. The movement in the bushes freezes. I gulp. The bushes start to rustle again…and then a big movement…and a flash…and there he is. Juicy. Juicy is the world’s largest backyard iguana. Jamie and I met him when she was down here and of course Jamie fed him crackers, bread crumbs and maybe even some candy, I can’t remember. Why is his name Juicy? I don’t know. Ask Jamie. I haven’t seen him since she was here and figured he must have headed on to a more happening place. Wrong. He is here. He is large. He is in charge and he brought at least 2 of his friends with him.

Exhibit A: Friend #1- NOT JUICY

So, I move out of the way, so he will go merrily about whatever he was doing. I am telling you, his body is as big as my calf and he is as long as my leg with his tail included. So, he walks over by the pool, through the gate and proceeds to a near by bush. Keep in mind, he is BIG. He starts to climb the bush and of course is too heavy for it to hold him so the branch starts to bend. That is when I hear another rustling in the bush and all of a sudden see

Exhibit B: Friend #2- NOT JUICY

Seriously, this place is like living in Jurassic Park. Behold:

JUICY!
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Of course, this reminded me of the time I went out in the backyard to get Jack a couple months after moving here in 2004. He was on his leash. I opened the back door and heard him making the weirdest, guttural noise. I thought he was caught up in his leash or something and went bounding out to see what was wrong. When I got out there, I did not see anything, but kept moving towards him to get a closer look. That is when I saw it. Jack was at the very edge of the patio and there in the green grass, just about two feet in front of him was a giant green iguana about the same size as the orange guy himself. Of course, Jack the attack cat was starring him down. They were eyeballing each other face to face in an actual starring contest. Because we were new to Florida and I am a Midwestern girl and I really was not used to dinosaur looking reptiles just hanging around on a normal day in my back yard, I panicked. Not knowing what the iguana would do, I counted to 3, slowly, in my head. One, two, three…in one swoop I had Jack in my arms and was leaping for the porch. He bristled up hissing, the iguana flared its crazy red neck flap and my heart jumped through my throat. I took Jack inside and set him down in the kitchen, he looked at me, swiped at my leg like “thanks for making me look like a sissy in front of that iguana. I could have taken him, Carrie.” And then he walked away in a huff. That day I learned my lesson: don’t make guys feel like wimps in front of large, green reptiles. What a valuable lesson to learn. Haha.
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Slow moments
Warm yellow walls
Photos, snapshots leading down halls

Fast talkers
Wild mind maps
Bright eyes, bellies, old baseball caps

Being drawn into something you’re not
Knowing and needing just what you’ve got
Letting go when you want to hang on
The smells left behind when someone is gone

Finding and option for ‘no other way’
When words just flow freely
Knowing just what to say

Questions with answers, no rules at all
Taking a leap and enjoying the fall
Hurdles and risks and very deep breaths
When something is over knowing what will be kept

…IS possible.

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The kids performed their show, Runaway, yesterday in front 2 houses of American teenagers and then last night in front of all their host families and the rest of the Lovewell family. Considering that the first time around the brainstorming circle in St. Petersburg, the students all said that they ‘hated to sing,’ I would call yesterday’s MUSICAL a success.

After the show last night, we had a talk back session with the audience and opened the floor for questions. The Americans were mostly interested in the differences between the two cultures and school traditions (Russians said that Amercian kids have a lot more freedom in schools in general) but then they wanted to know what the Russians thought about Americans. One of the boys, Sasha, took the microphone and in all seriousness said “I don’t know. ask me tomorrow when hopefully everything changes.” Smart. This election is critical…even Russian TEENAGERS can understand that.

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One of our host families took some of the Russian girls to Miami beach on Saturday night. While walking around, they saw some interesting characters, more so than ‘normal’, because it was Halloween weekend. Anyway, the girls were totally amused. After a while, they came across a group of people that were really having a good time. One of them was carrying a very large blow up penis. Anastasia, a 16 year old Russian, looks at her host mother and says “Wow, now THAT is freedom.”
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Peter= disrespecting the outline I made for Act Two of The Gloaming.

Rehearsals for the reading…with Spencer Robelen, Gabby Groten and Nina Zak…

Celebrations.

Katy and Margie did this to make Jamie proud.

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While working on the Inter Generational workshop, I experienced the most difficult group of ’students’ I have ever dealt with in my life. This group consisted of: Shelly Bernstein (board member), Meagan Nagy (staff member), Tobi Nagy (staff member), Connie Crawford (board member), Hallee Bernstein (student…and the MOST well behaved of all of them), Katy Hawley (former staff member) and Deb Frenkel (board member.) About the time I was done was when a woman who ran the space we were using walked out just as one of girls said “Okay, seriously, we have to stop talking about vaginas.” Yeah. That happened.

Which then caused this reaction that took a good 10 minutes to get under control.

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Russian shopping spree number one…

There is nothing left to buy in all of South Florida.

We drove to Orlando and back in one day. Yes. Nuts.

Introducing Halloween to the Russians via rockin’ party at Shelly’s house…

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I have a wart. I am horribly embarrassed, but I figure the best thing to do is admit it. Honestly, I have been blaming Jamie for it, but recently discovered that there is a possibility that I, along with others, obtained this wart from the same source…which will remain unnamed. Anyway, Marcus came over the other night and read the directions on the wart remover box (it is no secret, I hate directions) and we proceeded to attack the nasty foot wart. It wasn’t pretty.

More wart updates to come. I bet you can’t wait.